Rich People Problems

Just another sunset on Lake Annecy, France.

It’s been so hot here on Lake Annecy. We don’t need to talk about it, do we? Chances are it’s hot where you live too. And yes. I realise the world is on fire both literally and figuratively, but you’ll have to get your serious news elsewhere. I tend to write about ridiculous problems, so buckle up.

Pool Emergency

My first day at the lake house. It’s 86° and the water in my swimming pool is so thick and slimy that you can’t see the bottom. I can’t get anyone out here to look at it for at least two days because… apparently every single swimming pool in the region is affected by algae??? The reason I keep getting is: well, it’s been very hot…. But isn’t that the whole POINT of a swimming pool? To provide refuge from the heat? 

Outside temp: 86°
Pool colour: pond-scum green 

Pool Emergency, Day 3

The pool guy came over! Like many of the local pool guys he was a delicious 20-something who cleans pools in the summer and teaches skiing in the winter. My friends like to be here when the pool needs to be serviced and that’s all I’m going to say about that. Anyway, he repaired something in the pool room, gave the system a “shock treatment” and said the water would be clean and clear in 24-48 hours. Thank God!

Outside temp: 88°
Pool colour: pond-scum green with patches of cloudy yellow

Pool Emergency, Day 4

The pool is a little better, but definitely not swimmable. I’m worried because I have a girls weekend planned in just a few days. I called the pool guys again, but they said to wait the full 48 hours and then call back if it’s still bad. I can’t look at it, so I left the house and spent the day shopping for summer essentials: cases of sparkling water and rosé, some extra water shoes and beach chairs. 


Outside temp:  90°
Pool colour: infected-wound yellow

Pool Emergency, Day 5

I can see the bottom of my pool now, but it’s murky and slimy, instead of blue and sparkly. Apparently “it’s fine - it’s just dead algae.” But, seriously, NO. I’m not swimming in dead algae. I begged the guy to come over again and he just said, “I’ll put you on the list.”

It was bad time for the pool to be beige because we had a previously scheduled commercial photoshoot here today. But in the end, the pool colour was no big deal - the producers decided they could fix it in post production. 

Outside temp: 92°
Pool colour: dirty-dishwater 

Pool Emergency, Day 6

A new pool guy came. He was more like a pool man and he seemed to know what he was talking about - the problem is I didn’t know what we were talking about.  He used words I don’t understand in English, much less in French. Plus I only know the grammatical basics of past, present and future. I don’t know how to say: The last guy did this, because the time before that he did this other thing. But if he would’ve replaced that part from the beginning, we wouldn’t be in this situation now.

I’m super frustrated because it’s clear that the previous guy was just distracting me with his shirtlessness and clearly he had no idea what he was doing. There’s literally a giant piece of plumbing missing in the pool room. But I couldn’t show my frustration, because I don’t want to be a whiny rich woman complaining about her swimming pool when these guys are working, like, 14 hours a day. Actually, we’re in France, so they’re probably only working 6 hours a day, but still. They are knowledgeable and this guy was trying to be helpful so I tried to be friendly and grateful.

But just as we were nearing the crux of the issue (with the aid of google translate) a small swarm of bees (maybe 5?) flew up my kaftan and started stinging me on the butt. I started shrieking and spinning around in circles and spanking my own ass. But you know what? It’s really hard to kill bees when they are angry and swarming under your clothes. The only option was to lift up my dress and try to swat them off me. The pool man smirked and took this opportunity to try to leave- but I didn’t want him to go. Wait! I said. We’re not finished! Don’t leave! I took a deep breath and tried to regain my compusure, speak calmly with him in French about plumbing parts and filtration systems while simoultaneously, nonchalantly picking stingers out of my butt.

He said he would come back tomorrow with a new pump and a new robot to clean the pool. I made him promise, which was super awkward and I regretted it as soon as it left my mouth. 

I have three red welts on my right butt cheek and I can’t sit down properly.

Temp: 94°
Pool colour: dirty-dishwater with dead floating bees on top

Pool Emergency, Day 7

He came back! He replaced the pump and brought an aquatic electric vacuume cleaner that properly cleans the pool and doesn’t just kill whatever’s in it. The only catch is that in order for him (his name is SuperAquaBob) to be efficient, I need to scrub the pool floor just in front of wherever he goes, so that the dead algae floats and he can suck it up. Picture underwater curling. My arms are super sore but thankfully my butt welts no longer hurt, they are just super itchy. 

And just like that…

My pool is pristine blue again! My girlfriends are here from London and we've had the most perfect few days - swimming in both the pool and the lake, long walks, boat rides, incredible food, and best of all, 48 hours of non-stop laughter and conversation. They are worth every bee sting. ;)

Creative Projects ~

I’m supposed to be writing short essays and poetry for my collaboration with Sophia. But so far, I’ve just been daydreaming while scrubbing the pool. 

Books ~

I’m currently reading Orbital by Samantha Harvey and listening to The Last Murder at the End of the World by Stuart Turton. Will let you know my thoughts next week!


xo, L

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Summer hours, reinstated